PoMo Golightly

Never Forget

It's rainy today, which suits the eighth anniversary of the scariest day of my life.  I will never forget being at the train station and seeing the smoke curl up into the air, an empty space where the Towers that used to glint pink in the sunset. I will never forget the smell of the air. I will never forget the pain of so many around me.  I will never forget the fear.  I will never forget the bravery.  I will never forget the unification of so many.  I will never forget the determination to not be afraid.  I will never forget my pride in the United States of America.

Please do a kindness today in remembrance of those who lost their lives eight years ago. 

Yom Hashoah

Over the last few weeks, I've been reading Maus with my war-themed Composition II class.  We've read a number of provocative pieces this semester, but none has engendered more conversation than this.  The students love the comic form (in fact, I'm assigning them a comic personal narrative as their final project), but more importantly, they are interested in the concepts of ownership of stories and oral histories. 

I didn't plan my semester in such a way as to have our reading of Maus coincide with Holocaust Remembrance Week, but I'm grateful it did.  Our library has put together a list of links that have helped my students with their understanding of what they are reading, as has the in-class discussion from descendants of work camp survivors.

The wound of the Holocaust is still fresh in our world.  One of my favorite singers writes about it eloquently.  My dear friend Linda Jean Fisher has undertaken a volume project that seeks to commemmorate the millions of lives lost.  You can read an earlier post of mine about the project here.

And here are the most recent statistics from LJO's project from her last e-mail to me:

Friday, 10 April 2009

7274-7285

120 x 12 = 1440 Fingerprints

 

7285 x 120 = 874200

 

"father, son, holy spirit, re-ink"

Time Out

Sometimes a girl needs to put herself in time out for a little bit as she mulls over that which weighs heavy in her heart.

America, Unite

Seven years ago, our nation was united by grief.

My prayer, as I consider the rawness, still, of my own grief at the memory of that day, is that our beautiful country may once again unite, this time in hope.

Please do a kindness, no matter how small, in memory of all those who were lost on 9/11/01.

Free Tibet: A Contest

I rarely, if ever, talk politics.  I'm a vegetarian, but I also believe people should eat what they want.  I feel the same way about pretty much everything in my life; I do what I feel is right, and I hope everyone else does what they think right, too.  I'm not here to dictate that, and I chafe at being told what to think myself.

Sometimes, though, a message seems important enough to say something about to the world at large.  The lovely Pippi, creator of wonderful fibers and amazing human-in-general, recently posted her new colorway, Free Tibet, with a reminder that on this eve of the Olympics, it is important to remember that Tibet has seen no improvement in its great need for freedom.  She created the yarn as a prayer, emulating the Tibetan prayer flags that are traditionally hung to "promote peace, compassion, strength, and wisdom" (wikipedia, linked above).

You can order your own skein, to knit prayerfully, as I intend to do with mine, or, you can join our Free Tibet Awareness Contest.  Pippi has generously donated a skein of this gorgeous yarn to be given to a blogger who participates.

Here's the deal:
1.  On 08/08/08, post on your blog "None of us are free until ALL of us are free" with a link back here, as well as a link to one of these informational sites:  Students for a free Tibet or International  Campaign for Tibet.  If you know of another good informational site, feel free to link to that instead.
2.  Leave a comment, letting us know that you are joining us on our quest for awareness.

Pippi said she'd love to see 40 blogs with "None of us are free until ALL of us are free" on them tomorrow.  I think we can aim higher.  50?  75?  100?  Prove me right, people, and leave your comment, and we'll use the random number generator to choose a recipient for Pippi's generous prize.

It seems like a great way to kick of the Ravelympics to me!

   

In the Face of Despair

What to do?  How to help?

My stomach knots with each new disaster the world faces.  The same movie plays in my head:  driving north on Rte. 9 in Westchester and seeing emergency vehicle after emergency vehicle heading into Manhattan like the saddest parade.  Striving for optimism when despair was all I felt.  Feeling inadequate.

Inadequate.  At a loss in the magnitude of the sorrow and despair these people face.  There are places accepting cash donations, but what else can I do?

No Internet: Send Backup

Since yesterday my computer has not been into going online.  I've been into it, but the computer?  Not so much.  The wireless signal (yeah, probably not the right term, but I'm a girl under duress) is fine.  Excellent, in fact, according to the computer.  The best I can tell, it's some sort of firewall issue, but I don't know what to do with that suspicion of mine.

So, I've been checking e-mails at the library and now at work.  Golly pop rocket, though, I miss going online at home!  I like to sit in my comfy chair and peruse blogs and Ravelry, of course.  If you e-mail me and don't hear back, please send the geek squad, or some sort of help.  In the meantime, I'll jet home and try to figure it all out.

Makes a girl think, doesn't it?  Just a mere two years ago Scout showed me how to use the wireless feature on my laptop, and now?  Now I can barely imagine life without it.  I'm sorta tongue in cheek here, but sadly, not entirely.

There will be a post about a graphic novel and a special patch of grass, along with a too-late for Earth Day post.  One day.  One day soon, hopes me!

My To Do is Bigger Than Yours

Probably not.  I mean, I don't have kids, and anyone with kids automatically trumps me. 

This post has been brewing in my brain for a while now.  I've noticed lately that there seems to be a secret competition for many of us (go ahead, tell me not to include you.  I know I'm generalizing.  It's wrong of me.) to have the biggest list of tasks of anyone, ever. 

I know I've been feeling mighty burdened the last few weeks, and I'll continue to feel the same way for another month.  Then my life will free up, and something else will fill the void.  I recently responded to an e-mail from someone I know pretty well by saying that I didn't know how I was going to manage to get the four tasks done that had to be finished by a certain deadline.  In reply, that person gave me a detailed account of just how much was on his to do list.  Over and over I see this in play.  The kind side of me thinks, well, we all just want a little empathy.  We all feel overwhelmed.  The not-so-kind side, which has emerged this week due to hormones and fear of deadlines that I'm not sure I can meet, says WTF? 

At one point in my life I seriously considered selling my co-op and renting a room because I was so rarely at home.  I've made it a point, along with a lot of coaching from Neal, to free up my life.  I've surprised myself with the things that seemed so vital to my To Do list that, actually, I was able to let go.  Arguments can be made, from myself to myself, even, that all of the items on my list are there by choice.  Even the kid card is a choice, one that I have decided to refrain from.  Arguments could be made, too, that these are vital things that MUST be done.  But isn't that because a choice was made? 

Truthfully, I don't even know what I'm getting at, but you've been nice enough to suffer through the mess I've created.  All I know is that I'm really tired of feeling like, when I mention things I have to do, others must one-up me or dismiss me.  After all, I'm just spending my time making up stories.  And I don't have kids.  I'm lucky.  I have all the time in the world, right?

Here's what I want to try to take away from this crankiness:  I'm going to strive to be empathetic to those people who share their weighty lists with me.  I'm not going to one up them, nor am I going to bring up my list.  If I can't stand the pressure of that list, I need to pare it down, and no one really cares about that except for me.

Thank you for putting up with my fussy little episode of the mean reds.  It will pass.  One way or another, things will get done, I'll feel less stressed, and I'll be able to be kinder.  Until then, don't ask what I've been doing.  I don't want to get started!

Let It Snow...Well, Maybe it Could Stop Until Neal Gets Home

This crazy arse snow storm would be a lot more festive if Neal were home.  Normally he takes the bus into work, and when the state closes early, he either waits for the next bus or gets a ride from someone who will be going by the bus stop where he parks his car.

Today he had a seminar or something on the other side of the state, so he drove to work.  He was taking the second part of the day off, so I was all happy about life.  Thursday is one of my work at home days, but today I don't have papers to conference or grade, so I'm taking the day off.  How fun to have my husband home halfway through the day!  Except it's now an hour and a half after he should have been home, and there is no sign of him. 

Dudes, we're Luddites.  We totally don't have cell phones.  It's not like a simple phone call can alleviate my growing worry. Here is a moment when I wish I embraced that technology.

To keep calm I've been tidying the house with plans to finish Maggie's Socks this afternoon.  If I can sit still while I wait for Neal.  Why am I being such a nervous Nellie?  You don't have to answer that.  Instead, maybe you could tell me what you do when your nerves are on edge.  Besides, you know, having a cocktail.  Is it too early for that?

ETA:  He's home!!  What should have been a 40 minute drive took five hours.  I hope your loved ones are home safe and sound, too.  I think I will have that cocktail now!

Is It Wrong?

Although my official title at work is "Visiting Lecturer," we all know that's just a nice way of saying "part timer."  While my department is really generous to VLs, there are some things that can't be helped.  Example.  I share a large office in the basement of a building with most of the other VLs.  It makes conferencing challenging at times, and I sometimes find it difficult to work if the chatty people are there.  There's one man who began at the college with me last year, and we got off to a bad start when he began seriously dissing New York and New Yorkers the first day that we were both in our shared office.  I tried to reason with him; I informed him that I was (am, really) a New Yorker, having spent my adult life living there.  He ranted, his voice louder and louder, so I ignored him.  I was short with him for the rest of the year, only saying the bare minimum necessary for politeness.  When he overheard me talking about my wedding to another office mate, he started in on how obnoxious families are, and how the fathers compete to show off how much money they have.

Huh?  Since my dad is the most humble man I know, and since Neal's dad is deceased, I told him that was unlikely.  He barely had the grace to be quiet about the subject after that.

Fast forward to today when this VL began a rant about how rude NY Yankees fans are.  I'm not a big baseball fan, but as I've mentioned before, I'll always offer my support to the Yankees.  Even so, I was gracious to my students and friends who are BoSox fans when their team won the big title last weekend. While there will often be friction among fans of different teams, I've rarely witnessed anything seriously rude from the Yankees' fans I know.  This guy just has it in for New York.

I couldn't take it.  I told him that I thought he was trying to bait others in the office for an argument, and that I thought it was obnoxious to make such a claim.   I probably should have kept my mouth shut, but sometimes I have to wonder:  Is it wrong to want to make a voodoo doll of this guy and stick 100 pins in its tongue?

Starting next week I'm holding my office hours in the student union.  I don't want to get into an argument with this guy, and I'm done holding my tongue and unless I get that voodoo doll in action, harsher words will fly.

Dana just listened to this on the phone.  She's a good listener.  "If it keeps you out of jail..." was her sweet response when I apologized for ranting.  So, thanks, readers, for letting me rant.  It just might keep me out of the slammer!

On the UFO front, I finished the Dulaan-now-for-some-other charity hat today.  That's good progress!